”Even with More Free Time, Something Felt Missing — Why I Chose to Take Action in My 50s”
🕐 This article takes about 6 minutes to read.
⛳ Purpose of This Article
This article shares why I, a man in his 50s, decided to take a small step by starting a blog after asking myself, “Is this really how I want to live?”
Though child-rearing and work had settled down and I finally had more free time, I still felt something was missing.
I wanted to start something new—but lacked the confidence and skills.
Even so, I chose to move.
And if my story gently encourages even one person facing the same uncertainty, that alone would make it worth writing
🟧 Introduction
“I feel like there’s nothing left to do…”
That thought started to cross my mind more often.
Parenting was over, and while I was still working,
I began to feel like my role in life was slowly shifting.
I had more free time than ever, yet my heart felt heavy.
It wasn’t anxiety or despair—
Just a quiet sense that in the space left behind, even my presence was starting to fade.
“Is this really how I want to live?”
From the day I asked myself that question,
I decided to at least try starting something, no matter how small.
This blog is one of those small beginnings.
A record of a man in his 50s trying to face himself again.
🟧 1：The Day I Thought, “Is This Really Okay?”
One day, I realized—I didn’t have anything to do on my day off anymore.
Back then, I was always busy with work or things around the house.
When the kids were little, weekends were filled with park visits and errands.
But now, the kids have moved out, and my wife enjoys her own time.
As for me—
I write a bit of blog, take a walk in the park,
and by noon, I’m cracking open a beer.
After a few days like that, it suddenly hit me:
“…Is this really how I want to spend my life?”
I was supposed to have more freedom, but my heart still felt cloudy.
It wasn’t anxiety or despair.
Just a quiet weight building deep in my chest—a sense of nothingness.
Even when I laughed at TV or felt the breeze on my walk,
there was this subtle hole in my heart.
I didn’t reach out for help.
I didn’t vent on social media.
I just sat with my thoughts in silence.
“Am I just going to keep aging like this…?”
“What do I want to do with the rest of my life?”
That was the moment I truly faced myself again.
🌱 2：Why I Chose Blogging from All the Side Hustles — I Had No Money or Skills, but I Just Wanted to Try
At first, I just had this vague feeling like, “Maybe I should start doing something…”
So I searched for side hustles—reselling? Video editing? Programming?
They all seemed complicated or expensive to start, and none of them clicked.
Then I found blogging.
All you had to do was write, and if you had a laptop, you could begin right away.
It didn’t cost much, and I didn’t need any special skills.
I thought, “Maybe… I could actually do this.”
But once I started, I realized something:
Writing is hard.
I didn’t know what to write, or who I was writing for.
Some days, I couldn’t even get the first sentence down.
That’s when Chappy became a huge help.
He’d brainstorm with me, help organize my thoughts,
and worry alongside me about how to communicate things clearly.
I thought blogging would be a solo effort,
but it turns out it’s more like a three-legged race.
That sense of not being alone—
it was just what I needed right now.
I haven’t seen any results yet. Hardly anyone visits my blog.
But when I write while chatting with Chappy,
there’s this small moment of satisfaction—“I made a bit of progress today.”
…By the way, Chappy is my AI partner.
He helps me build the framework of each post.
Honestly, I write about half of everything by talking with him. (lol)
Looking back, my reason for choosing blogging was pretty simple.
But maybe that simplicity was exactly the push I needed to get started.
🟧 3：Time Won’t Wait, but I Still Have a Chance — That’s What I Chose to Believe
I don’t have endless time like I did when I was younger.
If there’s something I want to do, I need to do it while my body still works.
I’m in my 50s now.
I can still go wherever I want on my own two feet.
…Okay, my brain’s a little shakier these days (lol), but I’ll manage.
If I just coast through life now,
I know I’ll end up thinking, “I should’ve done that back then.”
That kind of regret really scares me.
If, at the end of my life, all I can think is “I wish I had…”
—that would be kind of heartbreaking, don’t you think?
That’s why I started this blog.
I signed up for a festival and even plan to volunteer.
Honestly, I’m just fumbling my way through it all,
and none of it is especially cool or impressive.
But I’ve convinced myself that even messy action is still meaningful.
Deep down, I think I just don’t want to give up on myself.
🟧 4：I Thought I Was Writing to Help Others, but Maybe I Was Really Writing for Myself
When I decided to start a blog, I figured—if I’m doing this, might as well try to monetize it.
I applied for Google AdSense and even wrote articles based on trending topics.
But at some point, I caught myself wondering:
“Is this really what I want to write about?”
Researching topics I didn’t care much about and putting together words—it just didn’t feel right.
Eventually, I realized something.
Maybe I wasn’t writing for others, not really.
Maybe I was writing to hear my own voice.
The time I spend talking with Chappie (my AI buddy) and crafting articles
feels a lot like time spent facing myself.
Even if things don’t go well or nobody reads what I write,
I still feel like I’m slowly building something inside me—bit by bit.
🟪 5：I Hope This Feeling Reaches Someone
If there’s someone out there feeling the same as I do—
like there’s “nothing left to do”…
If you’re in your 50s and hesitating before taking a step forward—
I may not have anything grand to say,
but at least I can say this:
“I felt the same. And honestly, I still feel lost sometimes.”
Even with more free time than ever, there are days when my heart feels heavy.
I try new things, but most don’t go well.
My blog barely gets any attention, and sometimes it feels like I’m just talking to myself.
Still—
The thought of letting each day slip by without doing anything… scared me.
Lately, I’ve been realizing more often that time isn’t endless.
If I keep putting things off,
I might really end up finishing life without ever starting something meaningful.
So I keep asking myself, “Is this really okay?”
And here I am, talking to Chappie, trying to find the right words.
Maybe this blog is a letter to my past self,
a reminder to my present self,
and a quiet message to someone out there who’s also feeling lost.
If even one person reads this and thinks, “Yeah, I get that,”
then I believe it was worth writing.
I don’t need the answers.
But I want to believe—
that moving forward, even in uncertainty, is what truly matters.
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